Tea - with sympathetic adjectives

Tea is the most consumed drink in the world after water.

It's my preferred beverage. Each day, I have about 6 of the estimated 18–20 billion cups of tea consumed around the world. My personal motto is if in doubt, make tea.

From the 1800s, Australians adopted the British penchant for a cup of tea for all occasions and the philosophy that a cup of tea can make things better, at least while you are sipping the steaming brew. (The recent Australian trend to adopt American habits means that coffee has taken over as number one hot beverage, but it sadly lacks any equivalent philosophy. This 2016 poll found the most common drinks in Australia are water, milk, hot coffee, and then tea.)

Tea is so much a part of our days that it turns up in various sayings, and much has been written about how to make tea properly. 

I’ve noticed something else while recently experiencing a series of minor problems escalating to a natural disaster. The adjectives we use to describe a cup of tea hold a secret code for human connection and sympathy.

The travels of tea

Tea has been grown in southern China, northeast India, north Burma and Tibet since about 2700 BC.

In the 1500s, tea was brought to the West by Portuguese explorers. It was first known in English as chaa (c 1590s) from the Portuguese cha, which came from Mandarin Chinese ch’a.

From 1610, the Dutch East India Company shipped tea leaves to Europe from the coastal parts of the tea growing countries. The word tea in English came from Dutch thee (mid-1600s), originally from Malay teh (pronounced ‘tay’) and from the Amoy dialect of Chinese t’e spoken in the coastal port areas. Variation of the form tea are found in countries supplied by the Dutch, with French thé, Spanish te, German Tee.

In countries where tea leaves were transported overland from mainland China, variation of the form cha continue to be found, with Russian chai, Persian cha, Greek tsai, Arabic shay, and Turkish çay.

Interestingly, while tea is used in English, char lives on as slang, in 'Like a cuppa char?'

This wonderful map of the distribution of the words tea and cha reveals the history of the route of importation of tea to that country. As The Language Nerds say: tea if by sea and cha if by land. 

Source: The Language Nerds

A few exceptions exist, for example the Portuguese have retained char (I wonder if that's because they were competing with the Dutch). In countries that grew their own tea, local names exist, for example lakphak or lahpet is the word in Burmese (လက်ဖက်ရည်). 

And thus, the word tea came to Australia when the British added it to the convict rations list in 1819. (Some tea was brought to Australia on the first fleet in personal possessions of the governor and others). 

And here I sit writing this blog with a nice cup of tea beside me.

What exactly is a ‘nice' cup of tea?

According to William Lengeman III, the earliest occurrences of ‘a nice cup of tea’ were 1809 and 1829 in books about travelling in the USA. It might seem worthy of recording when one finds a ‘nice’ cup rather than the dishwater that passes for ‘tea’ too often in that country.

Over the years, many people have written about how to make tea. Or more specifically, how to make a ‘nice’ cup of tea.

Among those is George Orwell in an essay entitled, ‘A nice cup of tea'. Like many who enjoy tea, Orwell had some strong opinions on the topic, and came up with 11 ‘rules’. He acknowledges that some of them are disputed by others but insists all his rules are required.

Other famous people to write about how tea should be made include Christopher Hitchens (How to make a decent cup of tea) and Douglas Adams (Tea).

If you think it’s odd that these three well established authors would bother to write about  something as prosaic as the rules for making a 'nice' cup of tea, perhaps you’ll also be surprised that there is an international standard for brewing tea. ISO 3103 is a standard published by the International Organization for Standardization, specifying the following:

The method consists in extracting of soluble substances in dried tea leaf, contained in a porcelain or earthenware pot, by means of freshly boiling water, pouring of the liquor into a white porcelain or earthenware bowl, examination of the organoleptic properties of the infused leaf, and of the liquor with or without milk, or both.

So 'rules' abound, some standards make sense (if the water is not boiling, it won't make 'tea'), but surely the word ‘nice’ means ‘to one’s personal taste’.

Each tea drinker has a preferred way to make tea; in fact the concept of preference seems to be part of the experience of tea. There are varieties of leaf, types of brewing method, cup or pot choice, variation in acceptable additions (milk, sugar, lemon, etc), and more. 

A 'nice' cup of tea is personal. It's what you enjoy.

My cup of tea and other idioms

That brings us to the idiom 'my cup of tea'. From the late 1800s, the British used this saying to indicate that something (or even someone) is what you like, prefer, enjoy, find to your taste, or find invigorating. In the 1920s, the negative version appeared: ‘not my cup of tea’ means something you do not enjoy.

So, something described as ‘my cup of tea’ is something you might choose, just like you choose your preferred way of making tea. 'That new store in the city is just my cup of tea.'

Other idioms in common use in Britain and Australia (depending on your social circle and age) are 'Not for all the tea in China', 'I could murder a cup of tea' (or in Australia 'I could kill for a cup of tea’), 'Storm in a teacup', and 'Tea and sympathy'.

Tea and sympathy

The saying 'tea and sympathy' comes from the 1953 play by the same name by Robert Anderson (made into a film in 1956) about a student, Tom, being tormented by his schoolmates about his sexuality. He is befriended by Laura, the unhappy wife of a domineering and unlikeable faculty member, who tells her not to get involved in Tom's life. He berates her with the line that gave the play its name, "All you're supposed to do is every once in a while give the boys a little tea and sympathy." Laura does just that: providing a little tea and sympathy in the form of having sex with Tom (which supposedly resolves the sexuality question).

So, the saying 'tea and sympathy' means to show kindness and lend a sympathetic ear if someone is upset or dealing with problems (perhaps not necessarily sex; up to you.) 

The saying builds on the long-standing idea that a cup of tea can make things better, and that the offer of tea includes an offer of sympathy and time. Many songwriters have explored this concept. One example is Janis Ian whose 1975 song called Tea and Sympathy focused on the grief and loss of the 'good old days' (play below). And just one more, Bernard Fanning released a solo album called Tea & Sympathy in 2005, with most of the songs written after the end of a twelve-year relationship which coincided with Bernard's brother's death in 2002. 

 
It’s like the cup of tea, and the sympathetic ear of the person offering the tea, helps to ameliorate any problem, malaise or disaster. Lots of tea and sympathy is required in dealing with loss, grief, change, and pain.

The sympathy adjectives 

So often, when we know someone is in distress or dealing with significant problems, a cup of tea and time to listen is all we can offer them. It might not fix the problem, but things seem just a bit less overwhelming after sitting, talking, maybe crying, while drinking the cure-all brew.

And there's a code we use to express our understanding that someone is in distress, to signal that we are willing to listen and hear about their woes.

This code is found in the adjectives we use to describe the tea we are offering - the more adjectives, the greater level of support and understanding being offered. 

Here the levels of the coded sympathy: 

• Would you like a cup of tea? - welcoming a visitor at the door before you know their news
• I’ll put the kettle on - reading the visitor's face that they need to talk
• I’ll make some tea - the visitor says they have some bad news, but not what yet
• I’ll make us a nice cup of tea – the visitor has reported a serious personal or impactful problem, and the word ‘nice’ communicates you will make the tea properly because you recognise the situation requires it; and the time will allow you both to calm a little
• I’ll make us a nice hot cup of tea – the visitor has announced a substantial loss or hurt; personal warmth and caring is conveyed in the word 'hot'
• I’ll make us a nice, strong, hot cup of tea - the visitor has experienced some devastation, like a flood or a car accident
• I’ll make us a nice, strong, hot cup of tea, and find us a biscuit too - the visitor is displaying depletion of physical strength while reporting their problem or disaster (the carbohydrates are for restoring energy, as well as signalling extra comfort.)
• You just sit there, put your feet up, and I’ll make us a nice, strong, hot pot of tea – in response to the visitor's distress you are communicating you have all the time they need (can apply to any of the experiences above).

Tea for me

I deeply appreciate the offer to make me a cup of tea when things are going badly or going under water, but it needs to be a nice, hot, strong cup to give me any comfort. When you are feeling rotten you need a 'nice' cup of tea. 

The only disaster that tea can’t help is finding out the kettle is broken.

Images

• If in doubt photo by the author
• Tea if by sea from The Language Nerds, based on data from World Atlas of Language Structures. https://wals.info/chapter/138 [Snipped from social media]
• George Orwell's tea rules from How to make a perfect cuppa. BBC News 25 June, 2003. 
• Poster for the original 1953 Tea and Sympathy stage production from http://www.thisdayinquotes.com/2009/09/little-tea-and-sympathy-and-censorship.html [CC BY-NC]
• Sharing a cup of tea: tableware https://get.pxhere.com/photo/tea-food-tableware-drinkware-dishware-Dianhong-tea-liquid-ingredient-cup-keemun-lapsang-souchong-serveware-cuisine-drink-da-hong-pao-dish-tieguanyin-porcelain-chun-mee-tea-vinegar-Kahwah-hojicha-Junshan-yinzhen-darjeeling-tea-Wedang-jahe-chinese-herb-tea-ceylon-tea-oolong-gunpowder-tea-Dongfang-meiren-Vietnamese-lotus-tea-pu-erh-tea-Sugar-substitute-kombucha-green-tea-earl-grey-tea-Salted-duck-egg-still-life-photography-bancha-egg-earthenware-bai-mudan-still-life-assam-tea-teacup-Hyson-Tung-ting-tea-bowl-recipe-apple-cider-comfort-food-white-tea-Espagnole-sauce-roasted-barley-tea-breakfast-saucer-sauces-Kukicha-1639126.jpg [Free images]